Why Setting Boundaries is a requirement of Success

Why do you have a hard time saying NO?
Why do you struggle with saying NO because you feel like someone else will be upset with your decision?
Why do you feel like you are being used when you say yes to something you don’t feel inspired to do?
Would this same person say “Yes” to you if you asked for the same?

I have always been the kind of person that put everyone else’s needs ahead of my own.  Whenever I am working on my own stuff and someone calls for my help, I drop my stuff and help them.  I figure that it wouldn’t take long and it will help them a lot for me to just do it. 

Truth is, I am taking valuable time away from my own project when I say yes to someone else’s stuff.  What I now realize, after years of taking on other people’s stuff, is that I must create boundaries that value myself.  If I don’t value myself then how can I expect other people to value me.  If I allow other people’s stuff to be more important than me then I teach other people that I am not a priority. 

Then next time someone asks you to do something for them, ask yourself some questions:

            Do I really want to do it?
            Do I truly have the time?
            Is this person using me?
            Can this person do it for them self?
            Am I enabling them?
            Is this within my boundaries that I set for myself?
            Am I honoring myself?

People will always dump their stuff on you if you allow it.  Set boundaries to put you first so that when someone truly needs you, you have enough fuel in the gas tank to help.  Some people may think this sounds selfish.  Good!! Because the word selfish, in my opinion, is prioritizing one’s own wants and needs, despite how it affects others.

Taking care of yourself is your highest priority.  In my opinion, not enough people do it and that is why we have so much discomfort in the world.  Because we don’t tend to our own dummy lights that warn us that something is off.

Teach others how to value you by valuing yourself.

Think about a person that you would never think of taking advantage of because you respect them.  That person has boundaries that makes you respect them, and you know it.

When you value yourself and make your projects a priority, you will make this world a better place because you will be giving the gift of yourself which allows everyone to win.

How to Set Boundaries:

            Name your limits
            Be aware of how you feel when someone asks for something
            Be direct
            Be ok with saying NO
            Value Yourself
            Ask for support when you first start implementing your boundaries
            Be assertive

Play the WHY Game:

WHY do I value myself?

WHY do I have enough respect for others to honor my boundaries?

WHY is being selfish great for refueling my tank so I can help others when inspired to do so?

By Cindy Hadfield

Creating Your Life on Purpose

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